The period of newlyweds in my recollection is probably one of the most fun and interesting periods in my life. Granted it was not the easiest, it was definitely something I enjoyed. The honeymoon phase is well and good but eventually, it comes to an end. It doesn’t mean that the romance and butterflies in your stomach have to ass well but settling into a life with somebody is never easy.
There are some useful tips that you should always keep in mind during this transition period.
- Communication is very important- don’t bottle things up and decide that it’s time to talk just when you feel like you’ve had enough. Whether it’s your husband leaving his socks on the floor or financial problems, don’t underestimate the important of good communication. The same would go for your partner as well. If he feels you’re communication “too much” or basically nagging, encourage him to let you know. Take comments and his thoughts as constructive because marriage does require listening and adjustments. Communication can be both positive and negative. Don’t allow it to always be negative. Let your husband know you’re thinking of him. Leave voice mail messages randomly, send emails or surprises to keep the romance alive.
- Honesty will always be the best policy – You need to ensure open and honest lines of communication if you want your marriage to work. Don’t lie and hide things from one another. These are little seeds of negatively that can in the future, ultimately poison your relationship. If something is bothering you, don’t be a martyr and suffer silently, read the situation and let him know because contrary to your expectations, they cannot read your mind.
- Recognize the I versus the We – remember that in a marriage you are no longer just one person. You now have a partner. You need to explore what it means to be someone’s partner. This identity grows and develops as the marriage progresses and begs the question, “who are we as a couple?” This does not mean that every waking moment needs to be spent together but it does mean being responsible for someone aside from yourself.
- Compromise and negotiation – always look for the common ground. A marriage is a give and take street and you cannot always hold your head up high and think about your pride above all. The most important thing to remember is to attack the problem and not the personal. A good outcome is one where both parties are satisfied and in agreement that this is the best course of action. Commitment requires sacrifices and as a newly married couple, you need to work out the balance when it comes to conflict resolution.
The most important thing to remember is that staying in a marriage is both a choice and a commitment. You cannot just assume that everything will fall into place because life does not work that way. Life’s frustrations can take a toll of you and in turn this stress can be transferred, unintentionally, to your marriage and partner.